LIKE A BIG BLOB
Last sunday I found myself on the couch, bingeing Netflix and YouTube and feeling like the ultimate blob. Lazy, unfit, unattractive (I haven’t felt like beauty/spa routine in weeks). Shouldn’t I be working on my latest YouTube video that was tragically overdue?
I had all of my to-dos neatly documented in my bullet journal but I just didn’t feel like doing them. I did great on planning, and making new goals on paper but in real life, I couldn’t get my butt off the sofa.
This annoying and frustrating behavior of mine has been going on for about a month. Here are some examples:
I had joined a dance hall class which at first I was dreading, terrified of making a fool out of myself in front of the perky teen girls who could all twerk like pros…But I started to enjoy it a lot and was super motivated to get the choreo down perfectly. Unfortunately, the motivation disappears as soon as I get back from class so I never practice the moves at home.
Extremely interested in Japanese culture and wanting to follow my dream of someday immigrating to the land of the rising sun, I signed up for an intensive Japanese language class and been dedicating mind wrenching 3 hours to it every saturday. So far I haven’t missed one lesson. The catch is, you need to do more at home. Studying the vocabulary, grammar, everyday phrases and practicing reading and writing the signs. As you probably guessed, I keep procrastinating until the next lesson.
I found myself growing dissatisfied with my day job and feeling bored at work. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for the financial security, insurance and a way to pay for all the nicer things and vacations that comes with it. I like the people I work with and appreciate the flexibility of our office hours, free drinks and fruit. I like the work enough to spend a third of my day on these tasks. However, it does not spark fascination, fulfillment or excitement. I have come to terms that this isn’t what I want to do for the rest of my life. My dream is to work in a more creative field. But lately I felt like all of my efforts to get there weren’t good enough. I got discouraged to a point where it was hard to continue.
This week it has gotten to the point where I did not even properly clean my home. Usually I have a thorough routine on a certain weekday which I almost never deviate from and my apartment is always sparkling. I vacuumed and organized, did one load of laundry and that’s it. No kitchen/bathroom deep cleaning or dusting..eww.
I have been cooking and eating the same stuff over and over and lost all creativity in the kitchen. Additionally, I haven’t been sleeping well which is probably a result of lacking physical exercise.
OUT OF THE SLUMP
Is it the arrival of fall and the cold, dark weather? Unlikely, I have been anticipating autumn for weeks. Everything in my life was going right. I’m healthy, I have a great (on paper) job, an amazing boyfriend, I was going to move to a great neighborhood in town, I was travelling to exciting places and learning new skills to improve myself and grow as a human being. What the hell was wrong?
I’ve finally realized with shock, I fell into a slump that I couldn’t get myself out of. I was stuck in this rut of work and my laziness at home. Every day felt the same and I was going nowhere with my life. I made a decision to put an end to this bland existence and make my life exciting again.
In my column “THE LIFE MAKEOVER” I explore on changing life matters up for the better. Every monday I post about figuring out what it is that I really want instead of continuing on autopilot. I figure, if something good could come out of this, amazing! If not, I could stop blaming myself for not trying. I would love to know your thoughts and experiences. How do you get yourself out of a slump?